The Pain of Perfection
By: Bruce “Gazette Guy” Huberman
Let’s get right into it. Being a perfectionist is so draining. It’s bad enough that I have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) – I’m already wired to check things a million times. If I’m doing that already, you know I’m going to find “mistakes”. Little things that I can “make better”. Improve on. I especially have this thing with details and symmetrical balances (what’s on the left HAS to be on the right in the exact same position, but flopped LOL).
This particular symptom of my perfectionism exhibits itself everywhere. Why am I trying to be so perfect? I’ve taken a good look at this through the 12 steps of NA, AA and other 12 step programs and the best answer I can come up with is this; my world has always seemed so out of control and often times in disarray – at the very least unmanageable. So, when I find something I can seem to get to be “perfect”, I can feel like I do have some control over certain things in my life. Plus, those certain things, at least, (I say to myself), are going well. “Look at them – they’re perfect!”
All that doesn’t seem so bad at first. I work hard at something and I give myself a little pat on the back and what’s so bad about that? I’ll tell you what’s so bad about that. It’s near impossible to get things to be perfect! Especially if you’re a perfectionist. (LOL). All the work involved – redoing things, adding things, subtracting things, buying stuff, checking stuff out – it goes on forever. How about this color, that pattern, this sentence, that word – and the really crazy thing is this; most people will look at the thing I feel is great and won’t even notice if there were a bunch of imperfections in it in the first place!
So, it’s about time I surrendered to this defect and gave myself a break. Whew…I feel better already. Except, is this a good way to end this column? I’m not so sure. (wink, wink – LOL).